


Voiceless Communication

by AlltheFluff



Category: Free!
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-14
Updated: 2016-03-14
Packaged: 2018-05-26 18:34:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6250897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlltheFluff/pseuds/AlltheFluff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nagisa is going to be first one to say "I love you" and finds a perfect way of telling Rei during class.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Voiceless Communication

This day was inevitable and even though Nagisa usually didn’t have any trouble voicing his feelings, he was pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to get these words to leave his mouth. Maybe it was because he had never used them before, well, at least not in a very serious way. He had used them _once,_ when Haru had won their first relay, but that was a heat of the moment thing and everyone had long forgotten about it already.

Of course he loved Haru, but this was different. So. Very. _Different._

The night before Nagisa had decided to tell Rei, he had been tossing and turning in his bed. It was particularly hard to fall asleep because Rei had proposed to study at his place after school and when they ended up hanging out/studying until ten, he told it was probably better if Nagisa stayed the night. It wasn’t unusual for them to do so, on the contrary, it happened weekly and Nagisa happily enjoyed the endless cuddling before they went to sleep. But right at that moment he regretted coming over as he still had some things to do for the big day and he was pretty sure that Rei would continuously nag him for staying up too late if he practiced there.

He wanted it to be special. Special not necessarily meaning a cheesy picnic at the park at three in the afternoon, or a romantic dinner after successfully getting rid of their parents for the evening, or _anything_ involving rose petals. Rei obviously knew some things about romance, but he wasn’t a huge fan of all the rom-com stuff. Nagisa was very much aware and had to find a perfect way to tell him without being overly lovey-dovey, no matter how much he loved the corny stuff himself.

During one of their lunch breaks, when Makoto was going over a new training schedule for their upcoming practice, Rei had been stroking the back of his neck absently while listening to their captain. Nagisa was quite used to his routinely touches throughout the day and simply continued eating, until an idea _finally_ hit him.

A perfect way to tell him and he wouldn’t even have to use _words._ It was simple, didn’t involve any dates, sweets or partying, and most importantly, it wouldn’t embarrass Rei. Rei was always very easily embarrassed, no matter how much he stubbornly argued that he wasn’t (which was always _very_ amusing) and Nagisa didn’t want to ruin this moment no matter what.

So, after giving Rei a quick kiss on the cheek, Nagisa got up to his feet. “Sorry, I promised my parents I’d be home by eleven.”

It didn’t matter that he had already practiced it over a thousand times. He wanted to make sure Rei got the message loud and clear. And maybe he also wanted to show off his skills.

Rei went silent for a few seconds before he smiled up at him. “Okay. I’ll walk you out.”

The few steps towards his front door were spent in silence as the two shuffled awkwardly across the hall. Nagisa made sure to brush up against Rei’s arm to let him know that he had nothing to worry about and that he was _definitely_ not avoiding him. He hated miscommunication more than anything and luckily, they both knew that.

After Nagisa had put on his shoes, he turned to Rei and was not taken by surprise when two hands gently took his jaw to guide his face into a kiss. He stood on the tip of his toes so he had better access and wrapped his arms around Rei's neck, pressing their bodies closer. The kiss didn't last that long, about five seconds to be exact, and Nagisa felt Rei resting his forehead against his own afterwards, slightly breathless.

"You'd tell me if something was wrong, right?"

"Of course," Nagisa replied truthfully and looked up at him through his eyelashes, his lips curled into a reassuring smile. "I always tell you everything because I know I can rely on you."

"Good." The words ghosted over his lips, making them tingle. Another chaste kiss was placed on them, which enhanced said tingling. "Text me when you get home."

"Always do."

Smiling, Rei caressed his cheek with his thumb and leaned in for another hug. Right at that moment though, Rei’s mother passed by and teasingly scolded them for taking forever to say goodbye, so they were forced to part and Nagisa quickly ran out the door, waving at his boyfriend until he was out of sight.

The next day, they met on the train like they usually would and they stood next to each other after they had given up their seats for an elderly couple. Rei was holding onto a pole and held Nagisa’s hand with the other, running his thumb over the back of his hand. Nagisa had made sure it wasn’t that visible by standing really close to him and pretending to be indulged in a game on his phone, but secretly, he loved doing this every morning and always saw Rei smiling at him as well every time they made eye-contact. It had become a sort of second nature for them to hold hands whenever they weren’t talking and it made him beyond happy. It even eased his nerves a little, and to keep it that way, he squeezed his boyfriend’s hand, sighing happily when the gesture was returned.

Nagisa didn’t have a particular time in mind, but as soon as the first lecture at school began, he grew even more nervous. They had seven periods today, along with swimming practice, and he wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to walk around with the feeling of his heart jumping out of his chest until five. It wasn’t very pleasant and on top of that, he just wanted it out in the open.

While their teacher talked, Nagisa doodled in his notebook, knuckles of his left hand pressed against his cheek, thinking about their relationship. What if it was too early to use these heavy words? Sure, they’d been dating for over a year, but still, a lot of couples were happy without ever having said, “I love you” to each other. It was very uncommon, not to mention, quite shocking. It wouldn’t be very surprising if Rei were to freak out and tell him not to use those words so freely. It didn’t matter because Nagisa was over 100% sure he loved him. It was as if someone had turned a switch because one day, he just _knew._ It was this gut feeling that wouldn’t shut up no matter how much he tried to suppress it.

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t pay attention to class. Sometimes he’d watch Rei’s back, intrigued by the way his arm moved from left to right at a steady pace as he wrote, completely hypnotized by his work. It didn’t help that Rei had rolled up his sleeves to his elbows (seriously, w _hy_ was that so appealing? _Why._ ).

Third period had started and Nagisa’s entire notebook was covered in ink smudges and random smileys. There were a couple of oddly shaped strawberries in the corners, along with a few hearts and stars. It made Nagisa glance up at Rei who was hunched over his desk, still writing down every single word that was coming out of their teacher’s mouth.

Snickering quietly, Nagisa leaned back in his chair and contemplated for a few minutes. His fingers tapped against his desk, eager to act. On one hand he wanted to do it, while on the other hand he wanted to keep things the way they were and— _Or_ he could just act now and get it over with. After all, it would only take a few seconds, _if_ Rei got it right. He would, because it was _Rei,_ a perfectionist and nerd.

Giving himself one final push and acting quickly so he couldn’t chicken out, Nagisa moved forward and stretched out his arm until his fingers hovered over Rei’s shirt. Nobody was paying attention to him and if they were, they probably didn’t care anyway.

Carefully placing the tip of his finger on Rei’s right shoulder blade, he drew a short line to the left, and as expected, Rei almost dropped his pencil at the random touch, but Nagisa continued. Three quick strokes right under the first one, a vertical line with two stripes attached, and other four stripes under that one. Rei stayed completely still as Nagisa added the last part of the kanji and laid his hand back on the desk.

He wasn’t sure what he had expected, but he certainly hadn’t expected Rei to look over his shoulder with a small frown, as if he was saying, “What are you doing?”

Nagisa rolled his eyes, motioned for him to turn back around and drew it on his back again. Surely Rei was bound to figure it out after at least _five_ times. After all, he was the one who constantly corrected Nagisa on his kanji and stroke order and kept telling him it was essential he used them whenever he could.

After Nagisa had drawn it for the tenth time, Rei suddenly tensed up.

Pulling his arm to his chest hesitantly, Nagisa pressed his lips together and watched his boyfriend carefully. Even though he didn’t want to admit it to himself, he felt scared, maybe even terrified, that Rei had probably finally caught on because said person in front of him was not moving at all, and for a few seconds, Nagisa feared the worst. His eyes grew hazy at the horrible image of Rei telling him off, something he had grown accustomed to during their time together and didn’t really care about it, but this was obviously different, and saying that he had no idea what those words even meant.

But he _did._ And it was fine if Rei couldn’t say it back (yet?). He wanted to stay with Rei for as long as he lived, wanted to share an apartment with him after graduation, buy a king-sized bed in which they could cuddle for hours, wake up next to each other, make breakfast together, go job-hunting, call during lunch-breaks just to hear the other’s voice, wait for the other to come home so they can dine together, stay up late to tell each other silly stories about their day until Rei would start to complain that he was too tired to pay attention and force Nagisa to go to sleep, which would end in a playful pillow fight until they were truly exhausted and wanted to go to sleep… Nagisa wanted all of it.

While he was imagining everything, his sight grew foggy and he barely noticed Rei turning around his chair one last time, an unknown look in his eyes.

“Later,” he mouthed and turned back around to focus on his notes.

Nagisa frowned to himself, appalled by the unexpected reaction. From all the things he had been mentally preparing for, that was probably the _last_ thing. He had expected Rei to faint, squawk in shock, jump to his feet to start lecturing him in the middle of class, or at least s _ome_ form of communication instead of just giving him a simple “Later”.

Puffing out his cheeks, Nagisa laid his head on his desk, using his arms as a pillow, and closed his eyes.

* * *

At the end of the day, Rei still hadn’t mentioned anything about it and Nagisa was starting to go insane. After the signaling bells at the end of their fourth period, Rei had gotten up to go to the bathroom or something, and didn’t come back until lunch break was over. Nagisa had waited for a few minutes before he huffed to himself and went to the roof to eat with Haru and the rest. Of course, Gou being Gou, instantly noticed that something was off, especially since Nagisa and Rei weren’t glued to the hip as usual, and started interrogating him. Makoto and Haru left him be, eating in silence, but keeping a close eye on him just in case.

Miraculously, Nagisa managed to keep his mouth shut, no matter how much she pressed. He didn’t want Gou to go and look for Rei and talk to him just yet. Rei might needed some time to think, or analyze or whatever he did when he was alone. Nagisa let him, because that was just Rei and he knew it was pointless to force him to talk when he didn’t want to.

But nearing seventh period, Rei hadn’t cracked and Nagisa’s left eye kept twitching. He was glaring at the back of his shirt, eyes narrowed to slits, clearly annoyed. He had folded his arms over his chest, tapping his fingers against the inside of his elbow to distract himself, which wasn’t working at all.

He wanted nothing more than to throw something at Rei’s head to let him know that he didn’t like the silent treatment. Rei of _all_ people should know that.

The teacher’s words didn’t even reach his ears; Nagisa was too busy thinking of ways to get Rei to talk to him. So far the only things had come up with involved lots of poking, tugging and whining— things that obviously weren’t going to work.

The final bell of the day echoed through the halls and both of them got up to head over to swim practice. They did walk together, side by side, their shoulders brushing every now and then, something that used to make Nagisa blush, but now he was doing his best to nudge him to get a reaction. Rei didn’t even flinch and stared ahead of him, a definite pokerface hiding every single ounce of emotion. He literally looked like a complete stranger to him and Nagisa gripped his schoolbag, rather confused by this attitude.

Apparently “later” had yet to come.

When they got to the pool, Haru was already in the pool, Gou was focused on her notes and Nagisa found Makoto at the back, in the middle of changing.

“Hey, Nagisa. Rei,” he greeted them with a smile after he had pulled his shirt off. “How are you two?”

A very Makoto and subtle way of saying, “Are you two still in a fight or is it safe to talk to you?”

“I’m good,” Nagisa muttered and dramatically looked over at Rei, his hands behind his back and practically shoving his face in his boyfriend’s. “Dunno about Rei-chan, though. He looks like he needs to go to bathroom for a number two. _Desperately._ ”

“Wha—!? Nagisa-kun!” Rei hissed, his cheeks slightly tainted while Makoto tried to hide his grin behind his hand.

“Well, it’s _true_.”

“It’s not!”

“Prove it.”

“How am I supposed to _prove_ that I don’t have to go to the bathroom!?”

“You’re Rei-chan. You’ll figure something out.”

As Rei started a, what sounded like, well-practice speech about saying inappropriate things in front of their senpai, Nagisa was beaming from the inside because Rei was finally talking again. He glanced over at Makoto who smiled fondly at him and he left to go to the pool, leaving them alone. Nagisa silenced Rei by grabbed his tie and dragging him over to the cabinets.

“Yeah, yeah, we need to get changed before practice is over, Rei-chan,” Nagisa quickly said before Rei could open his mouth.

They changed in silence, as Nagisa had expected. While he was getting his swim trunk from his bag, he watched Rei from the corner of his eyes, never getting tired from the way his boyfriend went through his routine. He’d always remove his glasses first, take off his jacket, loosen his tie, pull up his collar, remove his tie, fold it, unbutton his shirt, take it off, fold it _,_ unbuckle his belt, take it off, _fold that,_ step out of his pants, _fold those_ _…_ it never failed to entertain him.

Nagisa never even bother to fold his clothes and just pulled his shirt, blazer and jacket over his head in one go. After he had put on his trunks, he reached for his goggles to put them around his neck, but jumped when he felt a hand on his bare shoulder.

“Rei-chan? What—”

“Hold still.”

Not sure what else to do, Nagisa obeyed. Rei was standing behind him, v _ery close,_ because he felt every single breath brushing over the baby hairs of his neck, making him shiver. His goggles were still in his hand and he almost dropped them when he felt Rei’s finger on his back.

_Hold up._

“Rei—”

“Just hold still.”

Slumping his shoulders, Nagisa sighed and closed his eyes, trying to focus on the lines Rei was drawing. At first, he had expected the kanji for “Love” but it was a different one. And it made him nervous.

A short diagonal line under his left shoulder blade was drawn, followed by a straight line down. Nagisa could follow it so far, but when Rei started drawing a _lot_ of lines next to it, he was totally lost. Heat crawled up to his cheeks because there was a high chance he didn’t know the kanji and he wouldn’t be able to get the message.

However, after Rei was done, he drew another letter and Nagisa instantly recognized it as, “too.”

“Something” too.

This was annoying.

Silently telling him that he didn’t fully get it, he neither moved nor spoke, and Rei gently squeezed his shoulder that he was still holding with his left hand and drew the kanji again.

The same diagonal line, followed by a straight line. This time, Rei moved slower and Nagisa tried his best to paint the picture in his head. Four short lines facing down, a straight horizontal line under them, two more short ones, three horizontal ones under that one, a curved line through said three lines, and a final one that touched the previous one. And finally, “too.”

Realization dawned on him. It was the kanji for—

“... Me,” Nagisa murmured, his hands shaking a bit. “Me, too.”

Rei pulled back and Nagisa turned around to face him, eyes wide. “Yes.”

When he saw the sparkle in Rei’s eyes, he actually felt tears welling up in his own eyes. “Y-you mean…?”

A nod. “I’m sorry about today, Nagisa-kun, but the reason I said “later” was because I was sure I would blurt out those words as soon as I started talking to you and didn’t want to cause any disruption. I was quite overwhelmed at first and had to calm myself down during lunch. It’s just…” Rei reached up to push his glasses, only to find out that they weren’t there. Nagisa did his best not to burst out laughing and took a step closer, taking his hands. “I’ve never been in a relationship before and didn’t think I could fall in love with someone, let alone _love_ someone, but I do. I can’t explain it and it really bugs me that I can’t.”

So, in other words, Rei freaked out, yet still managed to get a grip a _nd_ ended up realizing he felt the same way.

“It _is_ inexplicable,” he said quietly and playing with their fingers. “You either feel it or you don’t.”

“And I most definitely do.”

Inhaling sharply through his nose, Nagisa looked up at him, grinning involuntarily. 

Warm arms snaked around his bare waist, hugging him close and Nagisa gladly returned the embrace with a content sigh. Rei’s steady heartbeat did wonders for his racing his heart and within seconds, he felt as if he had become a calm puddle on the ground. It was beyond euphoric to stand there with Rei, who loved him as well, who was now stroking the small of his back, whose lips touched his forehead every now and then and made him feel light-headed beyond words.

Nagisa had closed his eyes so he could fully enjoy the moment, feeling hot from Rei’s body temperature, and slightly high from the overwhelming emotions.

It wasn’t until Rei nudged him with the tip of his nose that he let go, his eyes cloudy. They were still close enough for their noses to touch so he grabbed his chance and kissed him.

They had kissed over a thousand times already, but it almost felt like their first one. Butterflies flew around in Nagisa’s stomach, his brain was literally not focused at all, and he felt warm. It tingled all the way down to the tips of his fingers and his toes, making his entire body glow. A bright flush on his cheeks gave away what he was feeling, but he didn’t care at all. The only things he could process were the fact he felt Rei’s heartbeat against his own chest and the addicting feeling of kissing him endlessly.

Their lips moved against each other naturally, to their own accord, thoughtlessly. Somewhere along the way, Nagisa had dropped his goggles so he could hold the back of Rei’s neck, gently guiding his face every time they changed the angle of the kiss. Rei was lightly caressing his side, sending jolts along his skin, igniting the warmth in his body. His other hand played with his hair, continuously brushing his fingers through it, which sent shivers down his spine. He was hopelessly melting under the simple touches, yearning for more and more, his broken brain edging him on to continue until their jaws were sore.

Even if their jaws grew tired, they probably wouldn’t notice. Nagisa was always so engrossed into the kiss that he never heard or noticed anything outside of it, except for Rei’s touch.

Which is why he felt like he had been roughly woken up from a good nap when Rei pulled back slightly, just enough so their lips were no longer touching. “We’d better go to practice. We’re making everyone wait.”

“… Right,” Nagisa uttered, blinking and shaking his head to wake himself up.

He forced his feet, which felt a lot of heavier, to move around Rei to pick up his goggles from the floor and waited for Rei to follow him to the pool. Rei reached inside his bag to grab his own goggles and walked over to him, a wide smile plastered on his face. When he was right next to Nagisa, he quickly cupped his cheek with his free hand and pulled him in for a last kiss.

Or at least, that was what Nagisa thought he was going to do. Instead, he leaned in until their lips were barely touching and whispered, “I love you, Nagisa-kun.” After that, he did kiss him, and reached down to grab his hand and intertwine their fingers.

Wow. It took Nagisa a few seconds to process the words because he hadn’t expected them to make him feel so _mushy_ from the inside. “Yeah… Me, too.”

He felt Rei squeezing his hand as they started walking to the others.

**Author's Note:**

> Blame this one-shot on my friend who was drawing the kanji for love in my notebook during one of our classes because she wanted to show off her skills. That was a couple of months ago, though, but the other day I was skipping through my notes and found it and wanted to write a one-shot based on it because Reigisa fluff 
> 
> And oh m ygod, this turned out so much longer than I thought. OH WELL. Totally not a bad thing, right? 8D
> 
> Anyway, here are some notes: 
> 
> 1\. The actual “I love you”s (yes, there are several huehue) in Japanese are super heavy. The one Nagisa and Rei used in this one-shot was “Ai shite iru", which goes a little deeper than the English definition of love and is indeed not used very often by Japanese couples uwu
> 
> 2\. "Suki/daisuki" can be used, but is a lot lighter and is closer to "like" than love. Nagisa has said these words to both Haru and Rei mew mew
> 
> 3\. Aaand for those who are interested, these are the kanji they used:
> 
> 愛 (ai) - "Love"  
> 僕 (boku) - "me/I" used by boys  
> も(mo) - "too" in hiragana 
> 
> Mind you, these kanji can have different meanings/readings because Japanese 
> 
> Please don't forget to leave kudos/comments on your way out~! ♡♡♡


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